They were supposed to be together forever. That was the plan, but through a cruel twist of fate the night before their three-year anniversary, Tex Davis lost the one man he would ever love, Memphis King. A year has passed and he still hasn’t been able to move on. Everyone tells him it’s time, but what do they know? Memphis was his partner in love and life. Losing him, broke Tex.
Tex has been given an opportunity to move from New York to Seattle. His friends and family are encouraging him to take it, but he has already decided to decline the offer because that would mean leaving Memphis behind.
Then something happened.
Whether it be fate or something else, Memphis came back to him. Tex’s first love is supposed to help him move on, but not even Memphis can bring himself to force Tex to let him go.
Is it so wrong to want to spend forever with the person you loved most? Both hearts are begging to be unbroken.
One year. One year since Tex had lost Memphis. One year since his lover had been killed, and it had yet to get easier. Everyone kept telling him it would, it never did. There were times he thought about ending it all, and then he would feel something…hear something, making him change his mind. Actually, sometimes he thought he was losing it.
And today, he called in sick to work, unable to get out of bed until this afternoon. When he finally emerged, he only relocated to the living room after grabbing a full bottle of Southern Comfort, plopping down on the sofa. The very sofa he and Memphis picked out together. It had been their first major furniture decision when they decided to move in together. The moment the delivery men left, Tex and Memphis broke it in thoroughly, wearing themselves out.
Tex’s eyes looked around the room. It seemed so empty without Memphis, and he felt so lost without his lover. He’d been sitting here for hours? Minutes? It had to be some amount of time since the bottle was half gone and he was feeling a drunken morose engulfing him, and he could not stop the bitter question from leaving his lips, the very question he had been asking daily since losing his best friend, lover, other half…his everything. “Why? Why Memphis? Why did you have to go? Why did it have to be you and not me?”
Shaking his head, Tex sniffled and brought his glass filled with amber liquid to his lips. “When you left, it completely broke my heart…I’m still broken. I need to hear you say that you love me one more time. A million more times, but that won’t happen. Can’t happen.” He took another gulp, draining the glass before wiping his nose with the back of his hand.
More tears were falling, but he ignored them like he’d done every time they sprang up. It was easy to do after all this time; besides, they didn’t matter. Nothing mattered any longer and hadn’t for a year.
He sobbed again and then got angry. “I wish you could come back to fix me, fix what you destroyed when you left, but that’s a pipe dream. You got mad, said your piece, and then stormed out of here. If you had just waited…” Tex choked on his words.
Pouring himself another glassful of liquor, he breathed out as drops of saltwater fell on his coffee table. He should probably stop drinking and put himself to bed to finish wallowing there, but he couldn’t. It had been one year. One year since that fateful night…unlucky night more like it. One year since he’d heard Memphis’s voice, touched his body, and the loss Tex felt that night remained just as acute tonight as it did then. He thought time was supposed to heal the wounds, to lessen the pain…lies. All lies. “It’s my fault, Memphis. If I hadn’t been spiteful and allowed that monstrous bitch, jealousy, to cloud my judgment…if only. If only. I regretted everything, regretted that the last words I spoke to you were bitter and vile. I can’t forget you, can’t move on. I’m lonely without you, Memphis. It hurts so much that you aren’t here.” He wailed like a banshee, his cry full of sorrow and pain.
Tex downed the entire glass, hoping that the pain would deaden or that he would stop feeling anything. Maybe if he drank enough, he could join Memphis.
Tex and Memphis have been together for three years. They have an argument that has Memphis running out of their apartment. When he is hit by a car and dies, he leaves Tex all alone. Unable to let Memphis go he can’t move on. Becoming a ghost in his own life.
Trying to cope with the year anniversary of Memphis leaving him, Tex starts to get glimpses of something just out of his reach. When he realizes what he is seeing he has hope that quickly turns into more pain. Afraid that Memphis is really there and terrified that he’s not.
This is a story of a man in pain and a ghost, trying to make sense of the impossible. Neither wanting to let go.
This was an odd book to me. I liked it, but at the same time I felt outside the story. Like I couldn’t really connect to Tex’s pain. The love story, told in flashbacks was at times both hot and funny. I’ve never read a story quite like this one. It was a 3.5 star read for me but I rounded up to 4.
Review Copy requested and reviewed on behalf of OMGReads.
I’m sitting here tears running down my face and writing this review. This book will haunt me…never have I read a book that I was such a sobbing mess with every chapter I read. This story was overwhelming and the love that Tex and Memphis shared was allconsuming. This story broke my heart right at the beginning and it slowly mend it back together. I don’t want to give away the plot but if you don’t read this story I can guarantee you’ll regret it. READ IT – trust me!
***Review copy requested and reviewed on behalf of OMGReads***
Maria Vickers currently lives in St. Louis, MO with her pug, Spencer Tracy. She has always had a passion for writing and after she became disabled in 2010, she decided to use writing as her escape. She believes that life is about what you make of it. You have to live it to the fullest no matter the circumstances.
From a young age, she has always loved books and even dreamed of being an author when she was younger. Growing up in the Navy, she used to weave tales for her siblings and her friends about anything and everything. And when she wasn’t creating her own stories, she had a book in her hand. They transported her to another world. She hopes that with her books, her readers have the same experience and that they can relate to her characters.
Getting sick changed her life forever, but it also opened doors for her that she thought would always be out of reach.