Love and Other Hot Beverages by Laurie Loft

 

I’m Laurie Loft, author of Love and Other Hot Beverages. Welcome to my blog tour, and thanks for being here! I’m excited to give out super cool prizes to two people who make thoughtful comments to any of my blog posts: one French press (an item which features prominently in my novel), and a $15.00 Starbucks gift card. Either way, you’ll enjoy plenty of hot beverages!

 

There’ll be seven posts in which I’ll discuss my book as well as unrelated items. Comment, and we can get to know each other a little better.

 

Today, at OMGReads, I’m going to talk a little bit about EDITING LOVE AND OTHER HOT BEVERAGES:  A BEFORE AND AFTER

 

Editing. Some enjoy it; others loathe it. To me, it’s a combination. There’s the joy and agony of rediscovering what you’ve written, of feeling your heart soar at the good parts, plunge at the bad. The work of shaping your words into something healthy is extremely satisfying, but it’s frustrating when the words refuse to get into shape.

And the cutting! Oh, gawrsh, it can be as painful as a physical injury. But more on that in a later blog post.

Here’s an example before-and-after section from my novel: the first draft versus the final version

BEFORE:

Todd hesitated, but it was becoming obvious to both of them that this was more than a fling, and Todd felt that if he was going to sleep with someone on a regular basis, he owed that person the truth, insofar as he was capable. “You’ve noted before that I don’t appear to belong in construction.” Sebby nodded. “You have surmised correctly; I don’t, and I have no intention of working here long term. But… it’s easy, it’s comfortable, and I don’t have to think. I… I… I suppose I must admit that I ran away, and I’m just… I don’t know what to do with my life; my life plan was shredded like so much old paper money, and I needed something to do while I pulled myself together. I did not think about it at the time, but I suppose I wanted physical labor because it wears a person out, and at night one is too tired to think and one can sleep. And being out of doors is revivifying to the soul. I suppose none of it has helped in any concrete way, but I just, I couldn’t, I can’t bear the thought of being imprisoned behind office walls all day long and into the evening…. I don’t know. Sometimes I feel I don’t ever want to be in that situation again.”

AFTER:

Todd hesitated, but it was clear that whatever he and Sebby had was more than a fling, and Todd felt that if he was going to sleep with someone on a regular basis, he owed that person the truth, insofar as he was capable.

“You’ve noted before that I don’t belong in construction.”

Sebby nodded.

“You’ve surmised correctly; I don’t. But . . . it’s comfortable. I admit that I ran away, and . . . my life plan was shredded like so much old paper money, and I needed something to do while I pulled myself together. Perhaps I wanted physical labor so I would be too tired to think at night. And being out of doors is revivifying to the soul. I can’t bear the thought of being imprisoned behind office walls the day long.”

The most noticeable difference is the division into paragraphs. These were recommended by my editor for readability. I tend to write in long paragraphs that smush everything together.

The second big difference is the number of words—from 225 to 137! That is mostly my own doing, in my desperate bid to get my novel down to the max number of words that Riptide would look at.

You might also notice that the stammering has been edited out. Again: word count! Besides, while the stammering may be more authentic and can help convey a character’s distress, it’s awkward to read.

The edited version still relates the important information, the whole reason for this section: why Todd is working in construction.

Original or edited: which version is more effective? Are there elements that were cut that you feel should have been left in? Do you think I should have cut even more? Let’s discuss!

 NOW, LET’S GET TO THE BOOK … About Love and Other Hot Beverages

After a rough breakup, Todd Addison wants time alone to grieve. While still dreaming of winning back his ex’s love, he moves across the country and finds work with a construction company. The last thing he needs is the cute office boy developing a crush on him, especially since he’s back in the closet.

 

Sebastián Nye can’t help feeling sorry for the obviously brokenhearted Todd. Though rebuffed repeatedly, Sebby chisels away at Todd’s resistance, determined to help him forget—a task potentially beyond anyone’s capabilities. He never meant to fall for the poor guy, but he does. Hard.

 

Desperate to hold on to Todd, Sebby hatches a sneaky plot guaranteed to end Todd’s heartbreak—if Todd doesn’t bail and ruin everything. Just when things can’t get more complicated, Todd’s ex wants him back. And Sebby’s abusive ex is just waiting to catch Sebby alone. Todd and Sebby must decide what’s worth fighting for, what’s worth sacrifice, and what’s worth compromise, or their relationship will begin and end with a broken heart.

 

Love and Other Hot Beverages is now available from Riptide Publishing.

 

 

About Laurie Loft

 

Laurie Loft lives in Iowa, endeavoring to write stories to give you that rush. Her husband, cat, and dogs kindly tolerate this odd activity. Her first M/M novel came about because of a minor character in a straight romance who just took over and demanded his own book. Laurie enjoys NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month) and other forms of writerly torture. She finds inspiration in her NaNo friends and her fellow Riptide authors. When not writing or working at her mysterious day job, she can often be found screaming at tangled cross stitch threads.

 

Connect with Laurie:

 

 

Giveaway

To celebrate the release of Love and Other Hot Beverages, one lucky winner will receive a $15 Starbucks gift card and a French press from Laurie! Leave a comment with your contact info to enter the contest. Entries close at midnight, Eastern time, on July 8, 2017. Contest is NOT restricted to U.S. entries. Thanks for following the tour, and don’t forget to leave your contact info!

 

Related posts

4 Thoughts to “Love and Other Hot Beverages by Laurie Loft”

  1. Trix

    I do think the new version reads more cleanly!

    vitajex(At)Aol(Dot)com

  2. James Escol

    The edited version works for me better. And if it’s any consolation, I tend to smush sentences in a long paragraph too. #YouAreNotTheOnlyOne 😉
    mushyvince(at)gmail(dot)com

  3. H.B.

    Thanks for sharing the two versions. It just shows how much goes into making the story can be the best version of itself,
    humhumbum AT yahoo DOT com

  4. Purple Reader

    Congrats and thanks for the lesson on editing. I go thru the same process – write lengthy passages and then have to cut it down. Of course there’s more to it, but I learned a simple tactic from a consultant once: Why be flowery and say something in 20 words when 10 will do. –
    TheWrote [at] aol [dot] com

Leave a Comment